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Giant Monsters Attack Amsterdam

from Tapegerm Collection Vol. 2 by Hal McGee

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about

Marcel and Pascal were browsing the collection at Lambiek, Europe's first and foremost comic book shop, on Kerkstraat in Amsterdam.
Pascal: "What do you have there?".
Marcel: "Volume 2 of The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen. It's about space monsters that attack the Earth".
Pascal: "I found a rare William S. Burroughs comic book". Marcel: "That's great. Let me see it".
Pascal: "What else do you have?".
Marcel: "Kaput and Zoesky. It's about two hapless aliens who travel about the galaxy looking for some planet to dominate, but they aren't very good at it".
Pascal: "I see... Have I told you that I have been giving serious thought to moving away from Amsterdam?". Marcel: "Why?"
Pascal: "Amsterdam disgusts me these days because it is overrun with damned American tourists and Muslim fundamentalists".
Marcel: "Yes, I know. I hate it too. But where will you go?".
Pascal: "I'm thinking of getting off of this rock altogether and moving to Orbital City. Why don't you go too?".
Marcel: "No, I don't think so. I don't like to travel. I'll persist here as long as I can".
Pascal: "Well, I must go. As our Uncle Bill Burroughs would say, 'This is the Space Age and we are here to go'"...
At that moment the walls of Lambiek started shaking and deafening explosions erupted all around them. M & P fell to the floor and covered their heads. They could hear the sounds of sirens in the distance, and Royal Dutch Air Force fighter jets overhead. There were more rocking, jarring explosions, and comic books came flying off the shelves. Marcel & Pascal ran out into the street to see what was going on. Several people came running down Kerkstraat toward them -- all was chaos, with choking smoke and debris in the air, women screaming and babies crying, emergency vehicles screeching past, and everyone racing toward safety -- from what?
Marcel and Pascal shouted to the people running by: "What is going on?!"
One young man stopped, and gasping to catch his breath, he said: "Giant Monsters are attacking Amsterdam! They are wrecking Rembrandt Toren (the tallest building in the city) and City Hall. Kalverstraat is littered with dead, crushed shoppers and tourists; and prisoners have escaped from Bijlmer Bajes!".
M & P looked at each other in amazement.
Pascal: "Maybe they'll destroy the Paradiso rockclub!" Then Marcel said to Pascal: "Maybe they'll destroy the art museums too! Rijksmuseum... Stedelijk Museum... Could we be that fortunate?...".

loops by Fever Spoor
electro noise sounds by Odal
Hal McGee -- mix, Commodore 64 samples, additional electronic sounds

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from Tapegerm Collection Vol. 2, track released February 3, 2006

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